awful November

It's November. I've done nothing except slacking, doing shit for projects, doing things i dun like and live like a zombie.

I hate myself. I'm not a superman. I jus a poly student who did badly for exams and projects. I still remember in the month of Oct, i have defined my goals, but everything is jus not feasible. i did not have a concrete plan or whatsoever shit to support my ideas. I dun have capital, knowledge, ideas or skills. I am a idiot who knows nothing.

i jus wanna say sorry to those who did projects with me. This period of time, i may submitting shit to u all. I may not be able to get my ass up again. I'm just like a fallen bird. i wanna fly. i wanna live carefreely. i dun want to be tied down. i dun believe in destiny. I wanna live my own life.

 Actually, i think i am a loser. i always find ways to avoid my responsibilities. I even resort to smoking but i was choke by it so i decide not to. What a loser right? I also tried other ways to relieve stress. Let me named some......

1. Driving - I always like to drive fast. Sad to say, i'm already numb to it. even 180km/h seems slow to me. It's not that i boast or whatsoever. i guess i've been driving too fast for a long time. The thrill is not there anymore. So i choose to piss other road drivers. i like to cut lanes which almost crash into others and do some emergency brakes. i know i am an ass but for now, the fun still able to entertain me. I love to play taxi driver especially. LOL

2. Rant - i guess no one knows i am an emo shit. i drive alone at night and shout on expressway without any aims.

3. Violence - i always punch my cupboard and wall

4. Kill bugs - i love to cut ants' legs, use needle to poke beetles.

5. Lying on bed pretending i'm dead.

If anyone who did the same things as i did, contact me! lets do it together =D

I guess no one will get to read this! UNLESS u STALK ME! LOL! which is impossible.

Busy Oct

i've drawn out my plan for oct. it's really packed.i even printed out a calendar and paste it on my rm's wall to remind myself. In order to clearly define my goals and piorities, i've wrote all my goals and piorities on the wall too! i wish i can get back my wasted september. u might be thinking that writing this post will waste more time, but this post is to represent as a beginning of my new life.

I hope everything will workout well and everything is feasible. i really cant wait.

Before i break out the news, i will like to keep what i am doing now as a secret. i'm afraid that everything dun goes smoothly or dun even feasible.

i hate myself for screwing up 19 years of my life.

Wed,Sat,Sun

When it comes to Wed, Sat and Sun, i will start to despise my mum. i cant stand her. I nv seen anyone gamble 4D until like this. Can u believe she can sit on the sofa for a few hours thinking of 4D numbers? After the opening of the 4D lottery, she can dissappoint to a point that she can emo for that night. What the hell is this? She can spend few Ks on 4D everymonth. Seriously, i despise her to the max not because she gambles, i despise her because she dun even work and all those money are my dad's hardearn money. She's a total fuckdup.

Today's sunday, can u believe that my crazy mum now going to witness the opening of 4D lottery LIVE? what the fuck is this? Fuck it man. I hate it. How stupid can she be?

What's so bad?

It's all about my family dinner again.

Every weekends,sat and sun, no matter what, as long as i'm in singapore, i will definitely have dinner with my family. I dun understand why she loves to quarrel with me regarding this. She said that the time we spent together were to little. I already tried my best. i know she has to study hard. My weekends' nights are for my family, she wan go anywhere on weekdays, i dun mind, i'll just follow her. Her dad works 6days a week, only have thursday as off day. i understand. Thats the reason why i will nv bother u on thursday.

What's so bad about eating dinner with my family? My family also nv bring her to some ulu places to eat dinner. Seafood,tze char,thai, "chapalan" restaurants, what's so bad about them? She might get sick of them, but it's not about the food, it's about the family bond. I only hope to spend that few hours with my family on weekends, whatever she wanna do, it's her choice.

She expects me to give up my weekends dinner with family because she thinks that i will be able to see my dad and mum everyday. Sad to say, i will NEVER agree to that. She can try it over my dead body. She cannot accompany me on weekdays, is her problems. Why should i give up my family for her which i think the demand of her is totally unreasonable.

I suggested that she can meet me everyweekends from morning till the time i have dinner then i send her home. But she didt gimme any answer.

If she insists in that, Sorry then. We have different goals and we should go separate ways. I dun see the point of continuing.

I can be nice, but dun get under my nerves. Dun expect me to give in.

Busy or Act Busy?

Now is 5.18 AM! Thursday morning! Wednesday night! i've been occupied by lots of stuffs and events! WOOHOO.

Sad to say! wednesday is my 破财日(bankrupt day)！Arcade is MONEY DRAINING! damn it! spend 40+ bucks and get nothing in the end except for some THRILL. LOLS! i realise some stupid arcade game can be damn fun! HAHAHA!

Jus came back from Zouk. To me, going zouk like going ZOO. fucking lots of WOLF and BEAST in the club. i feel that i am a sheep in the club. i'm herbivore(dun eat girls)! HAHA Sad to say, i've quite alot of opportunities to turn Carnivore but i let the CHANCE to my Emo friend. =x In the end, i wasted 25 bucks. SOB SOB

In conclusion, 70bucks gone to the drain. *emo*

In fact, after tonight, i will be quite free already =X what should i do leh? LOL

Sorry everyone, i dunno how to upload photos! LOL!

love you

Maybe i'm too pessimistic, i jus dunno why i feel that i wont live long on this earth.

Every anniversary, i wish to deliver ur favourite flower to you personally but i'm afraid that i will pass away much earlier than you do. I hope that i will be able to find a florist which able to operate forever, so that even i died, the florist can deliver ur favourite flower to you personally every single anniversary on my behalf.

No matter where my soul flew to or my body rest in, my heart will always be with you.

Love you...

I'm a stinky stingy monster!

As usual, i bought 2 dollar toto quickpick! i miss one number! damn it! damn sad. feel like tearing the whole world up because of it.

Now! back to the MAIN TOPIC! having a gf really makes me incurred huge debt! LOL! my bank account has been decreasing CONSTANTLY for so LONG! damn SAD thing. My gf says "I'm trying to save here save there, but still not much money". This sentence rings a bell in my mind! make me keep thinking of " u keep trying save here save there, but y dun save for my wallet?" LOL!

i was wondering how rich am i going to be if i dun have a gf! =x i think i will be holding L-BEE bag, ODD-LEE sunglasses ETC ETC. I really feel guilty that i spend papa mama so much money. i guess now i have to learn how to say "NO!"

Day after day, i've been waiting............ and still waiting.....

Everyday, i was waiting for the best news to reach my ears - the death of my grandma (my dad's mum). Sad to say, she is the one i hated most and i want her kick the bucket asap. I wonder why she still haven die? There's so many people die each day, y she's not included? This is the reason why i dun believe in karma.

Let me tell u a story. A boy who lives in a nice small family with a total 5 people, Papa,Mama, Mei Meis, and me. In his 19 years on earth, he nv received any thing from her grandma, not even a piece of sweets. That grandma has 2 sons. Each son has a son,therefore, the grandma has 2 male grandson. That grandma is a pervert and fucker. She is has serious mental problems and extreme bias. What the boy has, the other grandson also must have. For example, the boy has a bicycle, the other grandson also must have a bicycle. the worst joke of all is that the grandma demand a bicycle for her another grandson from the boy's dad. That another grandson has no dad? No! just that the another grandson's dad is useless.

Now, the crazy grandma saw the boy drives a car. She demand the boy's father to let the other grandson to learn driving and has a car. dun u think it's absurd? The boy's father pay for the driving lesson. Lucky enough, the boy's father of cause didt buy a car for that useless grandson. There's more crazy things that she did, but i dun wanna say and it's a real shame. If i got a Death note, i will write her name first. INSTANT DEATH. SO FUN!

Can u imagine for years, that grandma always goes to the boy's house and create havoc. Talking about those old shitty fucker grandma stories of hers and trying quarrel with the family? The boy's father still gives her 1k per month. When the grandma cant get the money on time, she will say " u try to hunger me to death?" can u believe this? She is those crazy ass who likes to mess up the whole family.

There's alot more to say. That grandma should fucking die now and die in the "Final destination" way.The mouth of her should tightly sealed by cement and pubic hair. i swear that the boy shall shoot fireworks and open champagne to celebrate her death. Her funeral and whatsoever can just exclude the boy. That grandma of his is worst than a pest. She is simply a jinx plus world greatest asshole plus dick plus everything sucks!

Good morning.

it's early in the morning. Time flies. I always tried to slp early, but failed. I dunno why. i'm confused. i'm worried. Sometimes, i was wondering whether my life will be better if i am single. i am just like a wooden block floating on an ocean without any aim and goal.

Someone asked me " Do you think a couple will become friends after they break up?". I starts to think deeply. After much thoughts, i think a couple will not become friends after breaking up. They will just become beautiful strangers. Dont you think so?

What is love? For man, i guess it's Sex. Thats y u will see the word " making love" which refers to sex. More sex, more love! (i'm still a boy, so i still innocent =D), For girls, i dunno because i'm too manly to be true. i cant read woman's mind. Seriously. I think that a woman's mind has more "wires" than a man's. It's so complicated till it reaches a stage whereby they dun even know what they want, so how are the man supposed to know what they want?

Fireworks

By the way, it's really nice to watch fireworks with family. =D the fireworks are beautiful not because it is physically beautiful, it's emotionally.

婆婆

i really miss my popo. i miss her. she is the best popo in the world. I still remember when i was damn young, i asked her one question " Popo! why do you become vegetarian? Meat is like the best food in the world!" She smiled and replied "Because i hope that everyone in the family is safe" No matter what she do, she will think of us first. This is how great she is. When i was young, she always tell me stories and buy me sweets. She will try her best to give me the best in life. By the way, she is damn cute. She goes for english lesson in CC at the age of 60+ and i was about 9 years old. Everynight, she will teach me chinese and i will teach me english while my english is a total noobshit. LOL

20th March 2008, 12.30 pm. i received a call from my mum. it was a call that i dun wish to receive as it was a call which marks the end of my popo's life. i really hate myself for unable to see her for the last time. this is my one and only regret in my life.

Everytime, i will visit her at the columbarium and talk to her about what happened recently when i was around the west area in the afternoon or when i am free. But.... she wont be able to talk to me anymore. how i wish she can still tell me stories and bring me to the market. She's gone forever but at least, she will always be in my heart.

婆婆，我爱你！

random day

It's a great day out with family. eating crabs, sitting on the beach, listening to the sound of the wave with family really makes me happy. The sad thing is that my gf. sometimes, she really says something that piss me off unknowingly. The calm waves are gone instantly. i hate it.

When she piss me off, my accelerator always floored. i will turn myself into zig zag monster (just like my blog name). anyone who block my way make me piss off real hard. i feel like playing bumper car and crash them all. By the way, i hate my car. it is so underpowered and useless. shit it. i will get rid of it soon as i hate it damn freaking much.

After so much ranting, here comes the sad part. i think my papa mama really aged alot. i saw my mum lying on the sands, her head was on my dad's thigh as my dad was sitting straight. My mum was lying in the middle of both my sisters. i really feel like crying but i dunno y. i was sitting behind them with my gf. I guess u all must be thinking that my gf and i was just like my dad and mum. WRONG! she pissed me off and she sit beside me just like a stranger sitting beside me in the MRT. but this gives me a really serious thought of what can i do and what should i do in the future.

Holiday!

next week will be a shitty week because of ....... NVP project! it sucks like a vacuum cleaner! i 've to prepare my part before the meeting. After reviewing what i have done before the holiday, the job i did was totally bullshit and crap. i'm dead.

2.30 is the time to go for some basketball games with my secondary school mates. i shall pawn the MVP (3 years ago) later! LOL!

BYE

HOLIDAY LOH!

weee! it's holiday! it's time to start my napfa training! i shall pawn all noobs! blogging not fun de!

i guess this is my last post. LOL BYE

My First Very Stylo Post!

Hello!

Welcome to my BLOG! testing testing!

i love to BOM BOM SHAKE SHAKE!

Japanese Buffet at Cathay is NOT BAD! 20 bucks and can eat until ur shit turns chocolate mochi. LOL! free drinks, free icecream. can jus eat those ingredients. OCTOPUS PAUL AND OCTOPUS BABY! eat salmon like eating ikan billis! damn nice!

i lazy to type already! BYE